Andrea ,CANADA, 2000

My daughter (Lauren) had open-heart surgery when she was 16 months old.
A few things helped me prepare for her surgery that you might be interested
in: I asked that we have a tour of the whole hospital which was set up with a hospital volunteer about a week prior to my daughter's surgery. I knew the hospital pretty well but I was able to get a good look at the floor Lauren would
be admitted to and meet a few of the nurses. Also I learned about a courtyard, solarium and parents lounge in various parts of the hospital that I didn't know about before. I asked that Lauren, my husband and I have a tour of the ICU the day before Lauren's surgery so that we would be familiar with the layout before our daughter went there after her surgery. An ICU nurse showed us around and explained the rules and regulations about visiting there. She also went over all the tubes and wires we could expect Lauren to have when she came out of surgery so that we wouldn't be overwhelmed. I found out what arrangements could be made so that I could stay with Lauren as much as possible. I roomed
-in with her on the floor and although I wasn't allowed to stay right beside her in the ICU, there was a parents overnight room that I could stay in whenever I wished. The hardest part of Lauren's hospital stay for me was when we had to hand her over at the door of the OR. Lauren wasn't sedated prior to the surgery so we had to hand her over wide awake. She was a real trooper and practically waved good-bye but I was a mess. The nurses were superb and her father and I were allowed to stay with her right up to the time that they were going to take her into the OR room and put her to sleep. Some hospitals have facilities so that the parents can stay with their child until they are put to sleep. See if your hospital can accommodate you in this respect. I also managed to talk to another mother who's child had had open-heart surgery at the same hospital. She gave me great insight into the parents' point of view and answered a lot of questions I had before I had the chance to ask the doctors, therefore easing my mind in the months prior to her surgery. One last thing, if you don't have an answering machine, it might be a good idea to buy/borrow one. We had loads of people calling us from all over the country to see how Lauren was doing. We were exhausted emotionally and physically and couldn't begin to start answering calls. Instead we put a message on the machine and updated it frequently. That way people could get information about Lauren and leave their well-wishes too. For example, one of our messages went something like: "Hello you've reached...we can't come to the phone... please leave a message after the tone... if you are calling about Lauren's welfare, she had her surgery on Thursday afternoon and is doing very well in ICU, no complications as yet and the doctors hope to move her to the floor Sat. morning." We had many people tell us how helpful they found this as they didn't want to keep bothering us yet were anxious to hear how Lauren was doing. Also people calling long distance were able to get info without having to call repeatedly to try and get us when we were home on a break from the hospital.
Best wishes and good luck to you all.